Acceptance
by anaellefire
Summary: TROS Fix-It? **SPOILERS** ************ Rey finds herself going through the varying Stages of Grief after the events on Exegol. Because being happy at a party literally moments after Ben just died in front of you is complete b/s and I need closure. M for languge. Obvi NOT a lemon/PWP (I know, weird for me). Cross-posted on AO3
1. Chapter 1

Palpatine had taken everything.

No longer could she feel the Force weaving its safety net around her. And Ben… Ben was gone, too. The strength of their bond had been siphoned dry to replenish the Dark Lord. And now that he and the rest of the Sith were gone, she just wanted to rest. She felt hollow at the absence of life around her. Tears welled in her eyes as she realized, with a sinking irony, that she was completely alone yet again. Her weary hands relinquished the legacy of the Skywalker blades and her knees buckled beneath her. She didn't have the energy to fight a second more.

In the end, Ben had been right all along.

She was nothing.

Silence rang in her ears; a soothing lullaby that carried her back whence she came.

To nowhere. To nothing.

She marveled in the quiet; the final peace of no longer being connected to everything- to everyone. The burden of the Force had been lifted from her shoulders. Her duty to the Resistance fulfilled. She was weightless.

The easy emptiness did not last, however. Rey began to burn. Her soul started to knit itself back together. Sensation returned to her first. She was being held? The peaceful quiet had turned to blood pounding in her ears. There was a warm weight on her stomach and a familiar hum in the back of her mind. Its soothing presence elicited a moan she didn't feel escape her lips. Her bloodied hand came up to find his, and with the contact of his skin, her eyes finally found focus.

Rey sat up when she felt him trembling beneath her and met his intense gaze. He took a haggard breath then, like he'd waited an eternity for her to come back to him. "Ben?" a hopeful whisper. Any louder, and the noise might shatter whatever dream this was. She drifted her hand towards his face but hesitated. What if he's not really here? She decided to chance it anyway when absolute relief poured from his warm eyes. If this was the afterlife, she wasn't going to let this opportunity pass her by.

Rey crushed her mouth to his, reveling in the sweet softness of his lips. He felt like coming home. Her fingers threaded through the damp curls of his hair, and she felt him sigh, pulling her against him. She could feel the staccato of his heart beating through his chest. He _was_ alive. _Stars_, the rightness of it all. She could have held him there forever. They breathed each other in until an uncontrollable smile bloomed on her face, forcing them to separate. Her happiness bled into him and for the first time in what was probably years, he smiled, too. His sheer beauty humbled her and stole her breath. Rey caressed a thumb across the foreign curvature of his mouth, and in that moment, she knew that the man before her was the one meant for her future.

But the humming in the back of her mind began to fade. His breath hitched and his smile fell. _What's wrong?_ she sent through their bond. Ben collapsed to the ground, and time began to slow. No. This couldn't be happening. She'd only just gotten him back! She followed him down, desperately reaching for the Force to try and stop whatever was taking him from her. But before she had the opportunity, he faded; his clothes sinking with their sudden emptiness. Ben Solo had given Rey purpose. He'd given her life. And in a singular moment, he was gone. Tears welled in her eyes, and all she could do was stare at the space he'd occupied just a moment before. A lightning strike screamed with nearness and broke her reverie. Everything was too fast: her shallow breaths, her racing heart, her spiraling thoughts. Hurriedly, she gathered the remnants of the man who'd saved her life and won her heart and headed back towards her ship.

Her mind gratefully numbed as she went through the pre-flight checks of the X-Wing. Flying was muscle memory. She didn't need to think while flipping switches and pressing buttons. She certainly didn't want to be alone with her thoughts running wild, either. Her vision lost focus as the stars blurred around her in hyperspace. Was it just vibrations in the mainframe of the old, water-logged fighter, or was there a faint hum in the back of her mind? She beat her hope down before it could take root and focused on the task at hand.

After what seemed like only moments, Rey found herself slowly descending the ladder from the X-wing and stepping on the lush foliage of Ajan Kloss. She ambled through the throng of Resistance fighters celebrating their glorious win, a ringing in her ears that dampened all but the rhythmic sound of her breaths.

"Rey!" Finn's voice echoed through the fog of her mind, and she found herself in a three-way embrace. They were so happy, but Rey could only muster a smile to her lips. It was a hollow reflection of their joy that didn't quite meet her eyes and she wondered at her feelings while being held by her friends. She wanted to be happy with them, but all she could feel was a deep-seated emptiness eating at her very center.

Rey participated in the festivities on autopilot; milling around comrades, nodding her head when appreciation came her way, but not engaging in conversation. It felt like her soul was sinking with every encounter. _Why was it so much more painful to feel lonely in a crowd?_ Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft, mournful howl and a drink being pushed into her hands from a furry paw. The amber liquid burned her nostrils from where she held it while examining the glass. This must be from Chewie's special store of Thykarann Whiskey. There was no need to say anything. He knew the brand of medicine best suited to keep thoughts at bay. Rey tipped the drink back and drained its contents, not caring about the consequences. _Kriff, _did it burn; yet, for a moment, the physical pain quieted the monsters lurking in the shadows of her mind. The Wookiee watched, impressed but with a hint of sadness that turned his mouth down at the corners. He simply nodded at her before pulling out a large, silver flask and refilled her glass. Rey turned towards her friends, then, gathered around a fire while they congratulated one another. She tuned out their tales of victory over the First Order, focusing instead on the flames dancing sensually in the middle of the circle. Quietly, she nursed her whiskey until she felt the heat spread from the inside out. The crackling embers and wispy tendrils sizzling in the air took her back to another place- a burning ship, an outstretched hand, a desperate plea.

It was Finn who noticed her thousand-mile stare. Realizing she'd been caught in a moment of weakness, she beat her emotions back into submission and turned away from the group. He whispered something to Rose and began to follow her. She'd known he wouldn't let it go so easily. He'd identified that look- it was the same haunted expression he wore after witnessing the massacre on Jakku-Before she'd rescued BB8, before she'd involved herself in an age-long war, before she was anything other than an abandoned scavenger on a desolate planet childishly holding onto hope that her parents would come back for her after more than a decade.

"Rey?" She paused. His voice was gentle, like he knew he might spook her. Rey turned when his hand brushed her elbow. She could feel his confusion at seeing the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks.

Rey worked to pull herself together, attempting to cover her despair with a conversation and quickly blinking back the moisture from her eyes. "What did you want to tell me?" Finn looked puzzled. "You've been trying to tell me something… What is it?"

He tensed before he spoke; his apprehension alerting her senses. She'd known that he'd developed deeper feelings for her during their friendship, but she'd thought that Rose's confession on Crait and their increased closeness would have caused them to dwindle. Rey didn't want to be put in the position of being the bad guy. "The Force…" he hesitantly began. "I can feel it." A pregnant pause filled the air between them. "I felt it when you…" He lost his voice and swallowed, barely able to meet her eyes. Somehow, she mused sadly, a profession of unrequited love would have been preferable to this.

"I can't help you," Her voice quivered with thinly veiled panic, but she held his gaze. His face filled with confusion, and she wanted nothing more than to put distance between them before he released a floodgate of questions upon her.

She tried to turn away from him then, but he hardened his grip on her arm. "How did you defeat him?" he pleaded, but she refused to answer. "Rey," he pressed, "what happened on Exegol?" His query left a bitter taste in her mouth and she replied with a silent shake of her head. He'd never understand. Celebration and praises rang through the trees for hours. Until now, no one had cared what it cost her to win this war for them. Understanding rolled over her then, an icy wave that rushed into her soul and trickled down her spine. She had always been just a weapon. Nothing but a means to an end.

_Nothing._

But not to _him_, she reminisced, distracting herself with a fraying edge of her blouse. "What did Palpatine do to you?" It was an almost imperceptible flinch at that name, but Rey set her jaw in defiance of her lineage. _Some things are stronger than blood._ But Finn was determined to get answers, to try to break through her walls. "And what about Ren?" Rey took in a sharp breath.

There it was. Her heart stopped. The fine hairs on the backs of her arms stood on end. She felt sick. And, without preamble, the tears she'd earlier refused began to crest over her lashes. She firmly met his gaze one last time to finally give him an answer.

"We died." Her stomach churned acid now, eating into her heart with a nauseating pain. She rebuilt her resolve when he didn't have anything to say to her admission, the weight of her words only just sinking in. "Go back to the party, Finn," she said, barely audible but with authority. Rey turned and headed towards the Falcon.

This time, no one followed her.

BB8 wooed a greeting as she entered and closed the boarding ramp, engaging the lock to deter any visitors. Out of ritual, she knelt down and adjusted his antenna, but couldn't say anything to him through the lump in her throat. Instead, Rey walked through the arched corridors until she entered the main living quarters, further barricading herself from the outside world. As the sole female on ship, she had her own makeshift bedroom setup in the engine room while the guys spread out in the crew quarters. The machinery there was a comfort reminiscent of her home in the fallen AT-AT. As she headed that way, she stopped by the refresher, kicking off her boots in the hall. She quickly cleansed under the sonics, wishing that they could also scrub her mind as she continued to beat down memories threatening to break the barrier of her control. Once in the safety of her room, she began to strip down, donning a fresh pair of small clothes she retrieved from a bag tucked away in the corner. It was much warmer on the jungle planet than it was in the depths of space, and she just didn't have the energy for anything else. The din of the engine had often lulled her to sleep, and the soft, full size of the mattress was a luxury she hadn't yet gotten used to.

Rey was bone weary, at last forced to face the day, and now unable to protect herself from the aftermath. She turned towards the bed and froze. There, next to her pillow, was a dark fabric, neatly folded, with a small handwritten note lying on top. Her bottom lip began to quiver, and a flood of tears streamed down her cheeks. A hollow cry wrenched from her throat as she sank to the floor. Slowly, she crawled onto the bed, hiccupping as she reached for the paper. She recognized the looping swirls of Shyriiwook expressing deep condolences. She should have known Chewie would have caught his scent on the nights when the bond flourished between them. After Crait. Before Pasaana. When they continued to explore their connection and what they meant to one another.

Shaking hands reached for the sweater, sobs now fully racking her body. She hugged the tattered garment to her chest, crying into the fabric that smelled just like him. And _Oh Force,_ _the_ _memories._ Slowly, she pulled it over her head, the material soothing against her bruised and battered skin as she desperately tried to feel again the warmth he once provided. Rey lay down on the mattress, pulling the duvet to her shoulders, and curling into herself. She imagined what it was like to last feel his arms around her.

There, in the silence and alone with her thoughts, she was nothing but a broken dyad, shattering into a million more little pieces, knowing that she would never again be whole. Her soul had split when she finally allowed his name to fall from her lips. "Ben!" she cried, over and over and over again until her voice was hoarse, until her heart had bled dry, until fitful sleep finally claimed her.


	2. Chapter 2

Summary: Rey is confronted by her friends about her feelings and what her plans are for the future.

AN: Okay. So, suuuper sorry this took a long time to post. Corona hit the US like a ton of bricks and I'm on the frontlines. I had a lot more originally planned for this chapter, but I really wanted to get it out to you guys, and I came to a point where it actually seemed to wrap up nicely.

* * *

Secondly, I finished reading the TROS novelization and while the ending of the saga still doesn't do it for me, the book lends soooo much more to our favorite couple and their character developments that we just miss in the movie. #RELEASETHEJJCUT!  
I cried. A lot.

Extra shout out to Whittlefire for not only beta'ing for me again, but also sending me the TROS book while all my libraries got shut down. 3 You da real MVP! 3

Rey awoke just before dawn, her cheeks stiff with dried tears. She tried to stretch the deep ache she felt in her body, hands rubbing away the salt that had crystallized on her lashes and had glued some of them together. She padded over to her clothes and pulled a pair of cropped leggings from the small pile. She didn't have the strength to take off his sweater just yet.

She was surprised to find Chewie at the dining table, his paws wrapped around a steaming mug of caf. She noticed a second cup was placed down for her, and she could tell from the invigorating scent wafting across the room that he'd made it just how she liked it. Rey gave him a tired smile. Her eyes felt glossy again. They sat in companionable silence for some time, taking in the faint sound of waking wildlife that permeated the old hull, sipping on the caffeine.

A soft growl was as close to a whisper as he could manage, the rolling sound cutting through the silence like a knife. His admission had Rey wondering when he first knew about them. She ruminated on the thought as he continued, expressing a guilt he felt towards Ben's childhood. He was silent for a moment, releasing a pent-up sigh. Rey felt that bubble swelling in her chest again and tried to chase it with a long draw from her drink. Then, what could only be described as a sorrowful chuckle escaped him as he wondered how she'd managed to sneak him aboard the ship. She stiffened, her eyes following the patterns of scratches left on the surface of the table, tracking the gouge marks to beat back memories of a less than innocent bond moment. Instead, Chewie broke her concentration with a guttural phrase, thanking her for being the one to bring him back. She smiled softly at the musical notes of Shyriiwook and her eyes dampened as they chased the echoes of his words down the corridor; the sounds dancing with a ghost of gangly limbs, shaggy hair, and princely arrogance. The Falcon was Ben's home more than it was hers.

The dam she'd constructed just to be able to get out of bed finally burst and she poured her soul to him. "We… we were bonded," she started, her eyes and voice far away. "From the F-Force." She told him everything, from the very first connection on Ahch-To, to… their last moments on Exegol. Gods, the _release_ she felt from finally opening up to someone. He listened quietly, not judging, just letting the tide of her memories wash away some of her pain.

"I loved him," she felt herself say, _so quietly_, and the world fell away from under her. The past tense of her admission was a hot blade twisting deep inside her. She'd never said it out loud before. Not to anyone. Not to _him._ Rey put her head in her hands and cried again in earnest. Her heart broke for the umteenth time when she caught his scent in the sleeves, no longer able to hold back her sobs. Chewie's large arms circled her, and she sank in his embrace, tears soaking into his fur. Listening closely, she could hear the unmistakable sound of him weeping with her. This war had cost him more than most.

When they finally parted, Chewie looked at her softly and made an offer. Rey, eyes red-rimmed and chin trembling, nodded in relief_,_ the wet tracks on her face refilling. She _did_ want to leave the Resistance. "Everyone is expecting me to be happy, to celebrate. It's exhausting." She pulled the sleeve over her hand and began to wipe away tears dangling from her jaw, sucking in a wavering breath. "Besides, no one knows me. Not really. And if they found out about Ben and I? They'd cast me out anyways."

Chewie agreed to fly out with her, but ultimately wanted to return home to Kashyyyk. With everyone gone, his life debt had been repaid. The last ten years had been the most challenging the Wookiee had ever faced. He just wanted to return to his family.

_Family_. She swallowed down the meaning of the word. She'd starved before. It seemed she would again.

* * *

The early morning light hung in the canopy of the trees; its soft glow filtered down to the jungle floor. Rey moved lightly as she packed her belongings and headed back towards the Falcon. She was ready to leave but had no real destination in mind. She planned to stay with Chewie until she had a better alternative. There would be no escaping what happened. The real challenge would be learning to live with the heartbreak.

They worked in companionable silence while loading supplies. She imagined that he would be relieved to be free of the memories that surely haunted him on the old freighter.

"Where ya goin'?" Poe waltzed over and leaned against a stack of crates, arms crossed over his chest and his voice oddly stoic.

Chewbacca let out a series of low roars and growls as he picked up one of the containers, shaking his head while knocking the general off balance.

"Chewie's life debt has been repaid. He's going home." Rey added for him. At this, Poe's tongue went in his cheek and he nodded, rubbing at the stubble on his chin. Despite their victory yesterday, he looked like hell; his eyes sank deep into his skull and his color was gray. He must not have slept much, either.

"And you?" The question wasn't accusatory. Just the tired inquiry of a leader trying to weave back together the fraying ends on the rope of his people.

Rey regarded him for a moment, trying to determine how best to proceed. While they were too similar in personality to truly connect, Rey liked Poe. She respected him and his leadership. She just didn't want a fight- the idea of the following conversation just tiring her already.

"I ended the First and the Final Orders. I have earned my leave."

He contemplated her words for a moment, looking down as he scuffed some of the underbrush with his boots. "You're one hell of an asset," Ah, that was General Dameron talking. She was almost going to interject at the objectification until he continued. "And we'll never be able to fully thank you for what you have done." He paused. "But the Resistance is a cause people volunteer for because it's what they believe in- a better future. _Freedom._ It was never meant to be a cage." Rey regarded him for a moment, not sure if she should walk away. After a poignant exhale, his face softened, and his hands dug into his hair. "Every ship was dead in the air," he leveled an eerily stoic gaze her way. "-Sinking to Exegol, and I had nothing to say. No last-minute stroke of genius to save everyone. No words of comfort as we fell to our deaths. I heard the screams of _so many_ of our people, and there was a moment when I accepted that no one was going to make it out alive. That we were a lost cause." He scoffed. "I don't know what you did, Rey. Hell," he swung his arms wide, "the _galaxy_ will probably never know what you did… But you _saved_ us."

She set her lips, then, refusing to let them tremble with emotions bubbling to the surface yet again. He walked over to her, and gently put his hands on her shoulders. "No one walks into a battle like the one you did and comes out the same person. If you need to go off and realign your chakras or recharge your crystals- or whatever it is Jedi need to do- do it. And do it unapologetically."

Relief spread through her in a smile, and she pulled the pilot into a hug. "Thank you," She breathed.

"Besides, the galaxy needs to learn to fix itself without using the Jedi as a failsafe to correct all of its bad behaviors." Poe gave her a gentle squeeze and kissed her hair. "Just know that you always have family here with us." She nodded, speechless and smiling through tears. Her heart voraciously ate at that word, yet she knew she'd never be whole. "But you have to take BB8 with you as an insurance policy. If it's been too long, he'll pester you to at least check in. Plus, I think D-O would appreciate the company." He released her and turned to whistle for the droid.

At the sound, Finn's head turned towards them from across the camp. He and Rose had been holding hands and talking close. Rey could feel his confusion wash over her through the Force. The couple began making their way over, which prompted Rey to continue loading the last containers onto the ship. One battle down, one to go. _Breathe in. Breathe Out._

"What's going on?" Rey regarded him for a moment before answering.

"I can't stay here," she stated while handing a crate to Chewie.

"Why not?" He sounded hurt as he walked under the hull of the ship, leaving Rose to wait in the periphery. This was not going to go as smoothly as with Poe, she could tell. Rey looked at them both, but continued to load, not wanting to answer. "Rey?"

"I just… can't. You wouldn't understand."

"Help me understand."

She scoffed, imagining his reaction at her desperate need to flee from the people celebrating Ben's death… but maybe there was something else she could confess.

"I need…" she began hesitantly, "to work through my darkness."

"Rey? What are you—Darkness?" He shook his head in disbelief. "I know you! You're—" She shot him a glare. They'd had this conversation before.

He paused for a moment, mulling things over. "Then, let me come with you."

"No." She was resolute. "I need to be alone."

"Alone? I _need_ you, Rey!" he begged. His frustration leached into the air.

"No, you don't." She countered. "You _want _me to train you." Her voice hollowed and she swallowed deeply, "I can't."

"You _can't_ or you _won't_?" his retort was biting, and he narrowed his eyes.

She could feel herself getting hot, so she set her jaw and started walking up the ramp to put more distance between them. She really didn't want this to escalate, but that outcome seemed inevitable. The Force prickled her neck in anticipation, and not a moment later, Finn came up and grabbed her hand, whirling her around in the process.

"I'm not going to let you run away." His determination left her seething. She was too tired to continue this charade of patience.

"That's rather rich coming from you_._" Her upper lip curled, and her body tensed for a fight, but still he held on. Had he not had enough, yet? The din of the camp had begun to quiet, listening to their exchange. "For the last time. Let. Go. Of. My. Hand." Her words were like ice.

"No." He shook his head to drive his point, tightening his grip around her fingers. Pompous asshole.

Suddenly, the world seemed to slow. Everything was in razor sharp focus. Her body was electric, and for a moment she feared it would find an outlet through him. But a voice whispered in her ear, sweet and low, offering an alternative course of action... she gave in to it, relishing in the way it pulsed through her body. With pure fire in her eyes, and a devilish curve to her lips, Rey spoke with nothing short of dominant conviction. "_You will release my hand and let me leave this planet."_ Oh, she lavished the sweet rush and bathed in the power behind her suggestion. _Storm troopers were always easy,_ the voice sighed.

Finn's posture went rigid and he dropped his hands to his sides. He nodded slowly with glossy eyes, "Leave whenever you want." He parroted, indifferent, he walked down the ramp back to Rose.

"HEY!" her shrill voice caught the attention of the rest of the camp. "What the _FUCK_ did you do to him?!"

Rose's reaction was like a cold bucket of water. The engines ignited, and Chewie hollered at her from the cockpit. Yes, now was a good time to leave. She backed towards the door needing to flee the situation; nausea roiling her stomach. She watched BB8 scurry in as she closed the ramp, not having the heart to look her friends in the eyes.

* * *

Rey was taken aback at the green glow of the planet beneath her. Kashyyyk was more beautiful than she could have ever imagined. White-capped mountain peaks rose from lush, blue lakes and the ground was blanketed in a dense, green forest. As they approached a clearing to land, she marveled at the huts nestled among the impossibly tall trees. Rope bridges draped through the branches like party streamer, connecting the huts of the village. The climber in her felt giddy, excitement welling up in a need to explore.

Rey followed Chewie down the ramp, taking in the pleasant atmosphere. It was different from the rainy, humid, jungle of Ajan Kloss. She bristled, remembering the unpleasant sensation of air too thick to breathe and the heavy way her clothes clung to her body. It was… comfortable here. The mild climate caressed her skin in a soothing, gentle breeze. The Force was strong in this place.

Reaching the planet's surface, her feet sank beneath her in a familiar way. The sand on the beach was softer than the dunes back home. _Home, _she marveled. Her mind stumbled, like it was brushing the dust off of a box of long forgotten memories. Would she ever again find such comfort? While her life on Jakku was by no means luxurious, it had a routine she could depend on. Wake up, scavenge, clean, sell, eat, sleep. Rinse. Repeat. There was comfort in the familiar. Now? She had no idea what her purpose was.

A loud shrill caught her attention and her furry companion raced towards a gathering of Wookiees, howling in return. Rey smiled at his excitement as two smaller Wookiees leapt into his embrace, the rest of the group crowding around them, shouting their praise at his return. Chewie turned to her, then, introducing her to his clan. She wasn't sure she'd remember all of the names, but made a note of his wife, Mallatobuck, and son, Lumpawaroo. The natives were very interested in the last Jedi of the Rebellion, bringing up fond memories of Master Yoda during the Clone Wars. They bombarded her with questions and whooped in praise at her efforts to end the war.

Rey began to feel overwhelmed in the crowd, the constant barrage wearing on her fraying nerves. For all of their might and intimidation, Wookiees were apparently an affectionate race. But she craved distance. Chewbacca sensed her panic and intervened, parting the sea of creatures and leading her away. With the din of the crowd softly rumbling in the background, Chewie offered her a chance to rest.

They corkscrewed their way up a tall tree and after some time, Rey was sure she was beginning to feel dizzy. Lost in her headspace, as she was trying to combat the swirling environment, Rey nearly ran into the back of her companion. They had stopped on a platform with a modest hut wrapped around the trunk. It felt darker than what it should despite the foliage. Like there was a shadow cast over the structure. Remnants of old leaves decayed on the roof and spiderwebs clouded the windows. Chewie identified it as Han and Leia's and said she could stay there if she wished, or she would be welcome to stay with his family.

Rey wanted to say that she would be fine. A dusty old house was a palace in comparison to her rusting old AT-AT any day. But, an eddy of leaves swirled in a sudden breeze that sent a shiver through her bones. Whispered voices floated to them in the wind but seemed lost on Chewbacca. Her heart sank, recognizing the strength of her psychometry when it came to all things Ben Solo. Rey took her lip between her teeth to keep it from quivering. No, she would conquer those ghosts another day. Chewie simply nodded and led them across a bridge to another dwelling.

Despite being high in the canopy, the treehouse had all of the modern comforts, some of those had more adaptations to better suit the environment. They passed through a full kitchen that scented the home in a wonderful aroma. There was a sitting area with large lounging couches circled around a great fireplace. Overstuffed pillows adorned nearly every surface and she supposed it was sensible to want to maximize comfort when you were as big as a Wookiee. As they passed by, she marveled at hunting trophies mounted on the high walls and a vast array of more traditional weapons that decorated the spaces in between. She dawdled a moment, intrigued by the different blades before quickly rejoining her host down the hall.

Chewie showed her to a guest room with a Wookiee sized bed and a door to access the balcony outside. Nature inspired decor added a coziness to the room, along with a great many books that stood on shelves made from tree limbs. Windows were everywhere, which let in a wonderful glow of light from the outside. And in the distance, she could make out the rise of a mountainscape.

Chewie had given her privacy after pointing out the fresher in a side room. He mentioned that dinner would be served later, but that she had a good few hours of downtime if she wanted to be alone. She gladly took him up on his offer.

Rey entered the lavatory and wondered about the location of the fresher. There was an ornate and beautifully stained-glass door that led outside, the sunlight passing through made a mosaic on the floor. Rey stepped out and discovered the answer to her mystery.

A _sun shower_. Out in the open. She giggled, excited at the prospect of a real water shower. It was nearly useless to rinse on Jakku, and water was too precious to waste on hygiene. At the resistance base on Ajan Kloss, rain was an overabundance, but showers were always fast and efficient to help get as many people clean as possible. Here? She had a moment to enjoy it. Rey stepped back inside to put her clothes into a cleanser while she bathed.

At first, she was hesitant. It felt so exposing to be out in the open, which wouldn't be an issue for a Wookiee, of course, but, after looking around, she realized the balcony faced away from the rest of the village. Her nakedness out in the open made her feel giddy and free.

The warm water on her skin was bliss, releasing tension deep in muscles she didn't realize she'd used. She focused on the burning pain, and imagined it washing down the drain. Rey's fingers massaged into her scalp as she released her buns. Her hair was midway down her back, now. She wondered for a moment if Wookiees brushed their fur. The image of a frizzy Wookiee made her smile as she wrapped a lusciously soft and incredibly large robe around her body.

Rey finger-combed through her tresses as best as she could, debating on whether or not to cut off the excess length. She felt bone tired as she padded over to the enormous bed. When was the last time she'd really slept? Surely, it was well before _The Emperor_ made his grand return. Her body settled and released any lingering tension that hadn't been washed away from the shower. An ache that permeated everything nestled over her like a burial shroud. The bed was impossibly comfortable; a considerable difference from her hammock in the old walker, or the stone slab in her hut on Ahch-To. Hell, she'd thought that her cot on the Resistance base was the most luxurious thing until she experienced a true bed- in the private quarters of Kylo Ren, no less... but, it stood to reason that the Supreme Leader of the Galaxy would not settle for anything other than the best furnishings.

_Don't think of _him_._ She scolded herself. She was _tired_ of crying.

Instead, Rey focused on the songs of the birds outside, the soft light of the sun warming her skin, and the life burgeoning all around her. She breathed in… and out. And soon enough, she was pulled off to that sweet realm of restful slumber that had evaded her for far too long.

* * *

AN: Sorry that Rey is so... weepy.  
I promise it won't always be like this.

As always, thanks for your continued love and support. Kudos and Comments mean so much to me!

Happy CoronaWriMo! 3  
Stay safe out there, friends.

~Anaelle


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